Old Journal Entry III: WE ALL CAN CHANGE...(ELS)

Age: 20

As I woke up this morning I noticed my poster that is directly in front of my bed. Written on it is the quote,


"Change: Change is the Essence of Life. Be Willing to Surrender what you are, for what you could become."

As a Twenty year old, living in what most say the prime of his life, this quote proves to be more than relevant but essential to fulfilling ones self actualization. Change has been a common motif in my life the past five years. Although the main theme of my life has stayed consistent being "reaching success," the faces in my "so-called life" have changed at a furious pace.

The last couple of days I have thought about all of those people, who have seemingly faded out of my novel called "Life." Even those who I would have called my best friends in high school, I hardly talk to anymore...unless if it is through facebook or AIM. I have become even more concerned with Change in my life because of this four year intensive introspective process (undergrad).

No two years these last three years has been similar. Freshmen year was fun and amusing because everything was new. There were new places to go and new people to get to know. Sophomore year was not that enjoyable. I expected it to be a blast, however it was mediocre at best. I wasn't having fun or doing well in school. But I needed that year in my life. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me. As my best friend, "King Callaway" (throwback nickname) says "Life is about experiences." I completely agree and believe I will learn from each "L" and grow.

Now I am at a new point at my life. I just realized it today. I know for a fact I know myself better than any other point in my life. Things seem to be going in the right direction concerning my career, my academics, and spiritually (although I have been slipping a little). I finally am used to New York and I have to say it will probably go down as my best decision in life moving here for college.

That's funny I hadn't planned to write about, change in myself but how change has affected my friendships. But just as my father says we all change and life you are only guaranteed a small group of close friends. Which makes me think of a question I should as myself more often: If I always embrace Change for the better in my own life, why do I feel so threatened and even angry if someone I consider a friend allows change to occur in their own life?...I'm only 20 but I know I will be pondering about that for years to come.