Age: 21
Today I read great quote in this book of quotes my Dad bought me before I reached college. The quote is the following:
“Keep a daily diary of your dreams, goals and accomplishments. If your life is worth living, it’s worth recording.” – Marilyn Grey
It’s a great quote. I think that it inspired me to do what I love to do—write. However there has always been a fear inside of me that has kept me from doing it during college. I think it is the same fear that has plagued me throughout my entire life—the fear of actually being as successful or talented as everyone thinks I can be.
I feel as though I have went through some heartaches and failed attempts during college but my biggest problem has been that I have not strived to learn from this experiences. Alternatively, I have taken these shortcomings and harped on them for days, months, and even years? My personal psyche has always been full of questions. Why didn’t I do this instead of that? I should have done that! Why are they doing so well and not me? Why did I have such a poor educational foundation as a child?
The fact of the matter is no matter if God himself gave me answers to these questions, nothing would change. I have to press on and take the good from no matter what happens. Alexander Graham Bell stated that “when one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Bell was speaking directly to me today. You would think I would have learned after sophomore year, not to look at what I lack, not to compare myself to others, not to dwell on the past—but even at the age of 21 and a senior in college I still struggle with pleasing myself. Can it ever be done? Can I ever be content and happy in life? If you asked me these questions two years ago I would have answered emphatically no and stated that content is synonymous with a weak and unsuccessful person.
But now I think there are some things that definitely would make me content in my life: Peace, Discernment, and Love. It just so happen that all those things can come as I grow in my relationship with Christ.
So despite all the recent disappointments (me interviewing for position after position) I remain confident that as a child of God I always have options. And I simply see Columbia as my Wilderness…I’ve been tired, tempted, and tested…but I know there is a light eventually…MAY 17th…
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