Family, Friendship, and Falling Out with People

Are Important…and apart of life…

I remember once during a visit home during my college years, speaking to my mother about my difficulties of trust those who I perceived as and called friends. She replied (probably out of exhaustion of hearing me complain so much) with a generational critique, “Your generation uses the term friend to loosely!” Until then I never really thought about it but after that encounter I definitely started to take the coveted term much more seriously.

Despite Gen Y being so “microwave” and successively extracting all interpersonal skills out of the action of socializing, I think true friends are still around and true friendship can occur. No friends are not the people that share the most mutual “friends” with you on facebook, but friends are those that talk to, learn with, argue with, critique, get critiqued by and grow with. I think a major problem that I have attempted to correct, is trying to make stretch friendships/relationships that were only meant for a season into a lifetime.

This past weekend I got to hang out with my brother in Minnesota. When we hangout it’s like we never had any time apart. We just start right back where we left off. On Saturday we had a conversation about why do we develop friendships/relationships if they are only meant to last for a short period of time. What are they worth? Why should we even go through them if they are not going to last forever? Well life has taught me that even though I have argued and burned bridges with individuals over quarrels, these events (the good and bad) and people (the good and the bad) have all shaped me to become the person I am today.

And I refuse (now after growing up a little) to devalue those past friendships and relationships. And I would like to thank all those people who have been in my story. It’s sad that some people were only in a chapter or two but I know all things happen for a reason. I really appreciate you all—my family, my best friend, “the Team,” my real friends, girlfriends, haters, those who wished the best for me, those that wished the worst for me after something bad that I did.

I thank you each for your effect in my life, no matter how big or small.

(I definitely was not planning to go this direction in this post…but I did)…

Still trying to figure it out.......

This past weekend was pretty fantastic. The homies stopped through the Mini-Apple, but now it's back to my normal Minneapolis existence. Not to say that the normal existence is a bad one. I've actually built up a pretty nice network of friends and actually enjoy a decent support system of similarly goal oriented people. It was truly a blessing to have the opportunity to have 2 of the people closest to me in the world outside of my immediate family come to visit me in Minnesota. That said, it's almost even more difficult to hop back into the normal day to day, after being reminded of the friends that are completely on the otherside of the country and how much these relationships have affected the person that I am today.
If you have ever read my xanga ("dabluestphi1914" read the old ones), you would be familiar with the "ONE", well that character has been replaced with a young lady that we will refer to as the "Remix". I honestly think that I need to take a step back from all of these situations and focus on my self, but I feel that I've been focusing on that alot lately. We'll figure it all out.......
I know this post is short, but it was my turn. I'll work on writing a deeper and more useful one next time around.

Ignoring Life because of 25 "Carrot" Diamonds...(Earnest)

My time in New York has taught me a lot about myself, people, "life", and more importantly my surroundings. I quickly learned how this city exemplifies the well known image of the "donkey chasing the carrot" that is right in front of it. I myself have became (and still am to an extent) that donkey that is chasing what is perceived to be right in front of him--No matter if that "carrot" was a woman, money, grades, liquor, or a better status.

However there is an inherent problem with this mode of thinking and this focus for the one the "current" fulfillment of your desires--actually there are two problems. First, I have found that these temporary needs that you have focused your entire being on, are not truly fulfilling because the second you achieve the thing that you have thought about, prayed about and dreamed about you quickly forgot it and its importance. You then shift your focus on a new "carrot" that looks even more delicious than the one you consumed five minutes ago. Secondly, if your focus is always on the "carrot" before you or the "carrots" someone else possess, you never focus on what you are blessed with because you continue to focus on what you lack.

In my "young" walk with Christ I have found this to be detrimental to my faith and progress because as my frustration due to failure to obtain my "current carrot" grows my focus on my walk decreases. I begin to walk a stray from the path Christ takes because my mentality is "at any means necessary" (yes it is a reference to Malcolm X...it is his birthday) I will obtain what I lack.

And when I get too focused on what I lack God typically finds a way to re-prioritize my perspective. Last week two friends of mine lost very close people in their lives and when I think about how they are going through, I remember how petty, fragile, and temporary that "carrot" is...I might not have that carrot that I desire but I do still have the greatest gift of all-- A Life full of possibilities.

I know how easy it is to focus on the busyness of Life but I strive and pray that each day I learn how not to focus on the gold and 10 carrot diamonds of the world but on Life it self.

Could Someone Please Flip the Switch? (Everette)

I'm going to give everyone fair warning, but this one is going to be slightly disjointed, but just hear me out.....





I have recently noticed that I'm developing a pretty serious case of tunnel vision, this is pretty amazing considering my notoriously short attention span. I've become so focused on my personal development, that simple things in life have gone all but completely unnoticed. I was watching television yesterday and saw a commercial for the 2008 Summer Olympics. Though I'm not a huge fan of the Olympics, I was amazed by the fact that I had completely forgotten that an event of international importance was being held during this calendar year. This just brought to focus the fact that many things that don't directly impact my advancement along that way which we can only pass once (life) are pushed to the side in my never ending quest to optimize this experience and hopefully do the same for someone else.
I remember that hot sunny day last May. I was boiling in my blue gown, adorned with my various organizational decorations, and that mortarboard cap that I had worked 22 years to attain. I joked to a friend that this outfit cost my family almost $100,000 and you couldn't tell me that I wasn't fly. this day signified my passage from youthful obscurity into an adult life full of endless possibilities. Possibilites, answers, and promise. I don't doubt that I still have limitless possibilities and boundless promise, but where are the answers? As Oprah finished her speech, I was positive that her last words would be, "Everette, this is what you are supposed to do with your life....." I sat there with bated breath and waited, but this revelation never came. She did share various life lessons, but none of them simplified this transition that I was going to participate in for the next year. The switch has yet to be flipped.....
I can see that it's getting simpler day by day, but definately not yet clear. I feel that the new simplicity is coming from my willingness to accept that none of this is in my control, so I'm just handing it over to the father, and hanging in for the ride...........

Standing at the Crossroads…Again…

05/06/08 (Earnest)

I’m at a very interesting point in my life right now. Despite now being an official contributing adult to society, I have never been more confused about what direction I would like to take my life. I have never experienced a more introspective period in my time here on earth. I thought undergrad would be the period in which I pose questions daily in hopes of finding truth, happiness, and discovering who Earnest is. Unfortunately after graduation, all the answers didn’t immediately come. Of course I have been blessed since May 2007, but I’m still not as confident in the direction that I’m going, as I believed that I would be. A year out of school and I’m still thinking where do I want to live? What is my passion? What is my purpose? Who are you? Are you the person that God made you to be or are you the person that you believe people want you to be?

But this is life. It’s comforting to know that everyone goes through this self questioning process. Everyone is going through life for the first time (I hope so anyway…). With that said these are very important and influential years of my life. Like I have stated since the New Year my prayer life needs to improve because I need some wisdom and discernment to decide how I want to see my life at 25, 30, 40, and 50.

It’s unfair but this 23 year old Earnest is making decisions for Mr. Sweat at 30 and even senior citizen Mr. Sweat at 65. I feel as though I am being pulled in so many different directions. Part of me wants to stay in New York as an “eternal” Wall Street tycoon while another side wants to move down south and own a small business.

So where will I go? I’m living proof how drastically ones reality can change by decisions you make at a younger age. I never thought as an 18 year old that I would be working on Wall Street at 23—because honestly I couldn’t think that far. But I do thank that kid because I definitely am thankful for my life.

I just pray that I appreciate the decisions my current self makes at the age of 30…

Life in the Minne-Apple

So, I'm a black college graduate hailing from the great state of Arkansas. I have a biology background and am gainfully employed in an industry that does not utilize any of that training. I'm currently putting together a plan to eventually utilize these talents within my corporation, so we'll see how it all works out. That was a simple overview to bring the audience up to speed, but here's what's going on in the life of our young hero in the Minne-Apple:

I currently reside in downtown Minneapolis, merely a 7 minute walk from my bedroom to my desk at my place employment. This is an interesting parallel to how I feel about being in this city, my main purpose is to work. I really enjoy my job and several of the relationships that I have forged while in this city, but I still find an emptiness. I've attempted to fill this emptiness with partying, but if you actually know me, you'd know that I absolutely hate partying. Lately, I've refused to partake in that scene and am actually looking to add people to my circle that find joy in some of the things that interest me.

I feel that moving to Minneapolis has truly made me appreciate my true friends (most of which reside at least a plane ride away). I'm currently working on a self-improvement plan (of which maintaining this blog is part). Subsequent blogs will update the reader on my day to day experience, including goals, accomplishments, & and failures. I hope that this blog will be therapeutic and/ or helpful in some fashion. Peace until next time.....