Coping with My Human Imperfection

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.” - Alden Nowlan

There is a phrase that I picked up a few years ago that I constantly bring up to myself: “Humans are perfectly imperfect.” These four words have served as a powerful remedy in the understanding of my chaotic surroundings: my world, my country, my society, my peers and family. When I realized that all individuals possess this complex characteristic of imperfection, it made me realize that our perspective on society is comprised of too many variables for one to label or define people, situations, and experiences in concrete “universalized” boxes such as good or bad; conservative or liberal; uneducated or educated—life (more specifically human life) is entirely too complex to be subjugated to the simple dualities of black and white. So therefore I like to think that I have grown to rely less on the comfort of generalizations and labels to define the people, places and things that make up my perspective on life. However with that said I’m sure you (Everette) will see (as I always see when I re-read any journal entries of mine) I label/judge individuals and experiences just as anyone else does. But that’s why I like writing; it enables me to see exactly what’s important to me and what areas (all 12 million of them) I need to work on.

Initially I was going to write about my inconsistencies but in an entirely different light. Like most days, yesterday I found myself disappointed in a decision that I made over the last few days. Although I have kept this concept of humanity’s imperfect nature, I continually struggle with the fact that I am not perfect. This is partly due to my pride and the refusal to accept my own human complexities despite the fact that being a “living paradox” (aka being human) is written on my forehead not to mention my actions/behavior. I loathe the fact that these inconsistencies lie in my psyche and heart. I want to be the “good” “smart” “handsome” “wealthy” “perfect humanitarian”….in everyone’s eyes. Maybe that’s the problem with my thinking, why am I so consumed with being the jack of all trades for beings that I said were just as imperfect, inconsistent and judgmental as I am? Shouldn’t I think outside the box with my own growth and personality and not attempt to define (or even strive to define) myself in a certain box—whether it be good or bad?

I think when I fully forgive myself for the inconsistencies of my reoccurring faults and weaknesses, then I believe I will be able to call myself, as Mr. Nowlan says, wise. This entire entry was sparked by a powerful letter that I received from a friend. In the letter the author poses a deep question and response, “So how do you show your best self when people are stuck on who you used to be?—you keep being you, keep being who you want to be.” I think they have it right. Be yourself despite the obvious wrongs that may cloud your past or present (if you are like me) reputation--who cares we all know that there are too many changing variables in life for those past events to define your future!

E